Isaac Whatever

So I was down on the beach in Panama City, messing around in the waves. It was nice. The first few days there the waves were pitifully small, but then they became larger and larger. A storm in the gulf somewhere I imagine. Anyway I was stoked. Finally we were getting some waves worth getting the bellyboards out for. So I got to tool around for one day in the big waves, having some fun. The next day, as I prepared to go out again, the guy in the lawnchair shack stopped me and told me that it was a "red flag."

Allrighty, I'll keep that in mind. So out I went. The waves were even better that day, and I was catching waves from out past where I could touch all the way in to the beach. Then the sheriff came driving up, stopped, and got on his PA. The bastard told me to stop swimming or I'd get a hundred-dollar fine! WTF?

So I came in and the lawnchair guy explained it to me. It's some new deal. When there is a red flag up, nobody is allowed to swim. It means that the waves are too dangerous or some shit. Bullshit! The waves were way smaller there than I have ever seen them in the Pacific or the Atlantic, and everyone was freaking out. Bottom line the waves were not bad. I understand that on the first day the waves were kinda big, two people died.

I dunno why they died. Anyway, the Fuzz can't say to Mrs. Idiotswimmer that she was being a fucking retard and shouldn't have let her 4-year-old go swimming in the ocean without watching him. Because they'd get sued, maybe, I dunno. Anyway these people ruined it for everyone, by getting fucking killed.

So after a few more red-flag days, and some more hassling from the Fuzz and the Lawnchair Hut Guy, I pissed in the lawnchair hut and drove home. Fucking Panama City. I hope this red flag shit destroys their tourism industry.