Isaac Whatever

I think I am now an official employee of Wal-Mart. God I hate myself.

Anyway I went to go get the drug test today. They're not letting new employees pee in a cup at the MEC center anymore. Oh no. I went over to a shady ass converted house that touts itself as "High Tech Surveillance" or some crap. Emphasis on the "high tech" they sure had enough hidden cameras. I wonder if I'll be seeing pictures of myself on the internet later trying to aim my wang at the little plastic cup.

I had heard that Wal-Mart was cutting back on employee benefits. I didn't realize that as a new employee, on my very first day, I would see such a dramatic and tangible effect of this new corporate strategy. I had expected something like a 10% cutback in stock options or something, not having my wang exposed to dirty and uncomfortable surroundings.

Not to even mention that it would be much easier to fake a sample at this shady-ass establishment than at MEC. Also I saw them giving a polygraph (lie-detector) test, and they were actually yelling at the lady taking the test. I dunno if you guys are familiar with polygraph tests, but it is imperative for the tester to ask the questions with absolutely no emotion, otherwise it destroys the validity of the test. This lady was screaming, "if you don't answer this question, you will fail the test! You will fail!" I wanted to stop in and tell the lady that if she does fail the test, she can simply sue this "high tech" place for screwing the test over.

So don't work at Wal-Mart, I guess. Anyone want to start a union?